Did you know that the phrase “a slice of life” is actually a storytelling technique? Who doesn’t love a good story? There’s magic in stories that we find so inviting and irresistible.
When someone walks in the front door and says “wait til you hear what just happened”, we drop what we are doing and are all ears. A good story captures our curiosity, interest and attention.
It is these little “slices of life” that we share with each other throughout the day that do wonders. When we hear these stories, we come to see how familiar and normal so much of daily life really is. Everyone has issues, makes mistakes, gets embarrassed, acts silly, falls short and rises to the occasion.
When we offer each other “a slice of life” we tap into our shared human experiences. We help each other make sense of things that currently aren’t making any sense. We offer lifelines, rays of hope and footholds to see us through our challenges. We celebrate the wins, the growth spurts and the mile markers.
Our shared stories help us normalize many of the common human experiences that unfold on a daily basis and help us feel less alone in what we are experiencing. It is all too easy to gaze out our windows into the lives of others and tell ourselves a story about how smooth their life seems to be going while ours is falling apart.
We shatter that false image though when we run into our neighbor at the grocery store and she shares a relatable story about being out of milk for the pancakes her kids were craving, even though she just went for groceries yesterday. Standing there with our arms full of bread, eggs and coffee cream, we laugh along with her because we are in a similar predicament. How unexpected to be offered a “slice of life” to go along with our purchases. What had been an exasperating quick trip to the local market had a silver lining. We leave a little better fortified for the rest of the day thanks to that simple exchange in the checkout line.
Ironic isn’t it – how we all feel like we are alone in the trials and tribulations of life? Yet a single, relatable story told to us by a stranger or a friend snaps us out of this hazy myth.
What the world needs now is more stories. Brene Brown told us this decades ago. She told us that data needs stories to bring it to life — otherwise it is just facts — charts and graphs. The real life stories add backstory, personal history and lived experiences to the sensationalized soundbites we get from the news. The raw facts come to life with stories. A slice of life beats a pie chart any day of the week.
I recall a lecture from an economics professor years ago who used slices of life to teach that statistics were not just numbers and graphs — they revealed insights into the people who drive (and are driven) by the economy. He told us to look behind the numbers for the human stories. His real life examples turned dry data into compelling relatable stories that made his teachings and our learning really stick. To this day, I still recall that lesson — and it is a big reason why Brene’s call for “more stories” really resonated with me.
Stories build bridges in a variety of ways. Stories can bridge the past and the present so that we can learn the lessons without having to go through it ourselves. Ryan Holiday, author of The Daily Stoic, is a strong proponent of learning from others through story – whether it is ancient or contemporary history, business wins and fails, or people who’ve overcome tragic adversity. Stories help us build a better framework for our own problems and opportunities. History that bridges the past and the present gives us a blueprint for the future.
Another way that stories build bridges is helping us to gain insight and understanding about societal norms that shaped prior generations beliefs, behaviors and actions. In his book, The Daily Laws, Robert Greene, puts a spotlight on this by reminding us that “People were experiencing their present moment within a context that made sense to them. You want to understand that from the inside out.“
Robert Greene tells us that the optimum way to fully comprehend the past is to make it come to life, to re-create the spirit and conditions of the time, to tap into the subjective experience of the storyteller. We can use our imagination to take us back in time and feel what it might have been like to live in that time period. It’s quite likely that you will do this without a second thought when you watch a holiday movie such as A Christmas Carol, It’s A Wonderful Life, or even How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
When we are listening to a story, we are opening up our natural curiosity and our imagination. Without even being consciously aware, we are feeling parts of that story too. Storytelling shifts us from being judgmental and close minded to surrendering to the magic of story. We begin to make connections and discoveries through empathy, sensory perception and our own emotional responses.
Watch a grandparent telling a story to a grandchild and you will see this magic unfolding. Often the grandparent will get down on eye level with a child or draw them into their lap. The opening line is probably not “once upon a time”, but more like “let me tell you about a time I fell off my bike”.
There is an instantaneous connection over a common shared experience. When a grandparent tells a good story, they are weaving their own real life experience into that of their grandchild’s — and offering the wisdom that small child needs to feel better, to realize how common that bike fall really is, and to have faith that they’ll have a lifetime of skillful bike riding ahead of them. The loving grandparent has just offered a slice of life through the magic of a good story.
So what is this “magic” embedded in story? Why is storytelling such an effective technique for imparting wisdom, sharing life lessons and reframing age-old conundrums? The answer is that we humans are hard-wired for story. We use story to make sense of our experiences and to give those experiences meaning – and we do it from childhood all throughout our lifetime. The magic is how our brains get activated by a story.
When we listen to a story, multiple regions in our brains come online and light up. This allows us to “live” the story we are hearing through vivid imagery, emotional engagement and sensory perception. Hormones such as oxytocin are released so we become awash in empathy and relatability.
We also experience neural coupling, where our brain and that of the storyteller actually synchronize. This becomes the mirroring that we humans do for each other. Watch a mother and her baby and you see this neural coupling in action. We get the same mirroring effect during storytelling — we reflect back to each other what we are feeling and experiencing. It is a brain connection that also makes a heartfelt bodily connection.
Mirroring may sound like new-age neuroscience lingo — yet it is hardwired into us humans. It is a phenomenal tool for emotional regulation. A mother can up-regulate her fussy baby to a happy state using facial expressions and cheerful tone of voice. She can down-regulate her baby into a calm state before nap time with a soft-toned, soothing lullaby. We do this mirror processing without a conscious thought as we listen to the stories our children, spouses and friends tell us. It is a fluid process of reflecting back and forth, validating how someone feels and acknowledging that we understand. We might even share a similar story of our own. We create bonds of trust and acceptance through mirroring.
So now you know where the magic in storytelling is coming from — it is coming from our brains and bodies as we “synch” up and absorb the encompassing, rich context offered by the storyteller. It is a shared human experience.
Storytelling is one of the most effective ways to teach and learn. It is how ancestors passed knowledge about culture and heritage from one generation to the next. It is how wise sages impart wisdom through parables and fables — offering us a poignant “moral to the story”. Stories are how we preserve precious memories of loved ones we’ve lost and keep them alive in our hearts.
Perhaps most importantly, it is the small “slices of life” storytelling that really nourish us on a daily basis. When we are offered a slice of life, our brains get activated in the best possible ways. As we listen to our child tell the tale of a food fight in the school cafeteria, or our spouse unravel the details of tense work project – we are making neural connections and building bridges in our relationships. We are synching up! What an antidote to all the disconnect we get from having our faces in our devices.
We get micro doses of empathy, curiosity and fresh perspectives with each little “slice of life” we hear or tell. Our small stories help us see each other in all our technicolor glory — as we reflect back and forth, the normal realities we all face. Some days we are the windshield and some days we are the bug. Our colorful, animated, entertaining stories help us understand and relate to each other much better.
Brene Brown is right — we need more stories. We can bridge divides, build a better future and find acres of common ground through storytelling. Offer a slice of life to others whenever possible. And when someone offers you a slice of life, savor it!
NOTEWORTHY RESOURCES:
“From toasts to eulogies, from job interviews to social events, this book will help you with ideas, structure, delivery and more.”—CNN
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